One of the questions that I am asked most frequently by my clients is, "what is the proper etiquette for guest addressing?". The answer to that question isn't as straightforward as it used to be with the etiquette for guest addressing becoming more lax in recent years. But whether you're addressing the envelopes yourself or sending your guest list off to a professional calligrapher, it is best to know exactly how you'd like your guest names written.
Depending on how formal, fun, or progressive you'd like your invitations to be, there are a few different options for addressing your envelopes without creating an embarrassing faux pas. But no matter how formal or informal you'd like your invitations to be, there are a few rules that shouldn't be broken:
NO MATTER WHAT...
- Write out all abbreviations (such as "Street" instead of "St.)
- Write out the full name of the state ("Michigan" instead of "MI")
- Each part of the address should have its own line on the envelope. One line for the name(s), one of the street address, one for the city & state, and one for the zip code
- Send each guest their own invitation if they are not members of the same immediate family living in the same household, or a couple.
TRADITIONALLY...
For proper, formal guest addressing, be sure to:
- Write out the word "and" between guest names rather than using an "&" or "+"
- Use proper titles for each guest (such as "Mr.", "Mrs.", "Ms.", or "Dr.")
- Follow these rules for how to write guest names:
A MARRIED COUPLE
- On the outer envelope:
- "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith"
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Jane"
OUTER ENVELOPE
OR
INNER ENVELOPE
OR
A MARRIED COUPLE WITH DIFFERENT LAST NAMES
- On the outer envelope:
- "Mr. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Campbell" on the same line
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Mr. Smith and Mrs. Campbell" or "John and Jane"
OUTER ENVELOPE
INNER ENVELOPE
OR
AN UNMARRIED COUPLE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSEHOLD
- On the outer envelope:
- "Mr. John Smith | Mrs. Jane Campbell" (each name on its own line. You can either list the names in order of who you are closest to, or in alphabetical order)
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Mr. Smith | Mrs. Campbell" or "John | Jane" (each name on its own line)
OUTER ENVELOPE
INNER ENVELOPE
OR
A SAME-SEX COUPLE
- Follow the same rules as any other couple. If the couple is married:
- On the outer envelope:
- "Ms. Jane Campbell and Ms. June Clark" (on the same line)
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Ms. Campbell and Ms. Clark" or "Jane and June" (on the same line)
OUTER ENVELOPE
INNER ENVELOPE
OR
A MARRIED DOCTOR
- THE HUSBAND IS A DOCTOR:
- On the outer envelope:
- "Dr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Dr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith"
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Dr. and Mrs. Smith" or "John and Jane"
- THE WIFE IS A DOCTOR:
- On the outer envelope:
- "Dr. Jane and Mr. John Smith"
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Dr. and Mr. Smith" or "John and Jane"
- On the outer envelope:
- "Dr. Jane Campbell and Mr. John Smith" (on the same line)
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "Dr. Campbell and Mr. Smith" or "John and Jane"
- THE HUSBAND AND WIFE ARE BOTH DOCTORS:
- On the outer envelope:
- "Doctors Jane and John Smith"
- On the inner envelope (if you are using one)
- "The Doctors Smith"
- THE HUSBAND IS A DOCTOR:
OUTER ENVELOPE | (the husband is a doctor)
OR
INNER ENVELOPE | (the husband is a doctor)
OR
OUTER ENVELOPE | (the wife is a doctor)
INNER ENVELOPE | (the wife is a doctor)
OR
OUTER ENVELOPE | (both the husband and wife are doctors)
INNER ENVELOPE | (both the husband and wife are doctors)
BUT MODERN/INFORMAL GUEST ADDRESSING...
has a lot less rules. Feel free to leave off the formal titles altogether, use first names, and use "&" and "+" to your heart's content. This style of guest addressing is more about aesthetics and less about following tradition.